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What does the zero say to the eight?
What does a mathematician present to his fiancée when he wants to propose?
The combined age of a ship and its boiler is 48 years.The ship is twice as old as the boiler was when the ship was half as old as the boiler will be when the boiler is three times as old as the ship was when the ship was three times as old as the boiler. How old is the ship?
The chef instructs his apprentice: "You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth..."
What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
In a speech to a gathering of mathematics professors from throughout the United States, George W. Bush warned the academics not to misuse their position to force their often extremist political views on young Americans. "It is my understanding", the president said, "that you are frequently teaching algebra classes in which your students learn how to solve equations with the help of radicals. I can't say that I approve of that..."
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"
A math professor, a native Texan, was asked by one of his students: "What is mathematics good for?" Well, you kick that guy off the cliff!"
The math professor's six-year-old son knocks at the door of his father's study.
What does the little mermaid wear?
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination. ???
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R Darwin)
He who can properly define and divide is to be considered a god. (Plato)
The Evolution of Math Teaching · 1960s: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit? · 1970s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit? · 1970s (new math): A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to 10, and each element of M is worth $1. Draw ten big dots representing the elements of M. The set C of production costs is composed of two big dots less than the set M. Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the cardinality of the set of profits? · 1980s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss with your classmates. · 1990s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the result with students in your group. Write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.
The reason that every major university maintains a department of mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to institutionalize all those people.
How many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards? I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.
A SLICE OF PI ****************** 3.14159265358979 1640628620899 23172535940 881097566 5432664 09171 036 5 There are three kinds of mathematicians:
One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman. The fire chief says, "Well, you look like a good guy. I'd be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test." The fire chief takes the mathematician to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, "OK, you're walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?" The mathematician replies, "Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire." The chief says, "That's great... perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you're walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?" The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he finally says, "I light the dumpster on fire." The chief yells, "What? That's horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?" What keeps a square from moving? Square roots, of course. I heard that parallel lines actually do meet, but they are very discrete. Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about. |
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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school. -Cokie RobertsDid you know that 5 out of every 4 people have a problem with fractions?
What did one math book say to the other? Don't bother me I've got my own problems! |
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A Real Education for the Real World |
